30 Rock

On Creativity

There are no bad ideas, Lemon. Just good ideas that go horribly bad.

Don said that no business is ever done evolving. That there are always opportunities for innovation. That you can always, you can always find new customers. I'm sorry, but I've just had an amazing business idea. You'll have to excuse me.

Hear me out. Yes, I'm talking about doubling pay-per-view profits while cutting out the middle man. But I'm also talking about American businessmen doing what they were born to do. Make things. We've stopped making and become a country of consumers. Well, I, for one, am done consuming. And I'm ready to make.

On Branding, Marketing and Style

Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux? Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

You know how the media are. They wait for a mistake and that's all you are. It happened to Hitler. No one ever talks about his paintings.

I get my hair cut every two days. After all, your hair is your headsuit.

Shoulders back, Lemon. You're not welcoming people to Castle Frankenstein.

On Business

Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.

No, I am not. I am ''innoventing''. A word that I just ''innovented''.

We have to synergize backward overflow.

Hello. For over 100 years, G.E. has been imagining the future today. And I'm here to talk to you today about a wonderful new synergy. It's called product integration. It's revolutionizing the way we monetize broadcast television. How does it work? Simple. All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or "pos-mens," of G.E. products into your program. For example, you could write an episode where one of your characters purchases and is satisfied with one of G.E.'s direct-current drilling motors for an offshore or land based project. Product integration - setting a new standard in upward revenue-stream dynamics for all of us.

This thing's a real cash cow, unlike 'Cash Cow', the failed NBC spin-off of 'Cash Cab'. You try riding a cow through mid-town Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.

What is your contingency plan for a crap storm of this magnitude?

On Traditions

Okay, in my defence, every April 22nd I honour Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.

On Self-Confidence

All right, Donaghy. Follow your heart. Hard Equations And Rational Thinking. Damn you, HEART.

Jenna Maroney: Jack, can we talk? One ten to another. Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

I once claimed "I am God" during a deposition.

On Leadership and Team Management

What are you talking about? Everyone loved your little Lemon party. Nothing brings a team together like a harrowing experience. You pulled it off.

I'll have the wardrobe department pull a dress for you. I just thought maybe you'd like to spend some time with a, um, different class of people.

No. She's more than that. I don't choose my mentees lightly. They have to have the drive and ambition to be worth my time. The intelligence to understand the challenges they're going to face. The humility to accept my help. And finally, a life that is a bottomless swamp of chaos. Drive, intelligence, humility, chaos, or the acryonym DIHC. I'm looking for DIHC, Avery, and I'm going to take it wherever I can find it.

Your turkey sub, your clothes, the fact that a women of your resources and position lives like some boxcar hobo, or maybe it’s the fact that while I’m saying all this, you have a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair. This is the unlisted number of Stone, the most exclusive restaurant in the city, currently. I think it’s time that you start enjoying some of the finer things in life.

A parent is the one person who is supposed to make their kid think they can do anything. Says they're beautiful even when they're ugly. Thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State. Let the rest of the world tear your kid down. Your job is to support him no matter what.

On Determination

Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this mediocrity?

Do you know what the business model works in the entertainment industry? Make ten shows and hope that one of them works. We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

Once I set my mind on something I have to accomplish it. Ten years ago I was one and a half inch shorter than I am today. Pure will-power.

That's absurd, Lemon. The world is made by those who control their own destiny. It isn't made by those who don't do, it's made by those who do do. Which is what made me the man I am. I do do.